It all started with a butt dial….

The past months have been a time of deep transformation. My husband and I packed up our house in Northern California, sold most of our belongings, and put the remainder into a small storage unit. When I looked at that storage unit, I remembered Elizabeth Gilbert’s words from “Eat, Pray, Love”, her whole life fitting into a small storage unit. I looked at my 5×5 ft unit and thought the same, nineteen years of life in California, all in one small container.

Back in April, my hubby Jivananda received a call from his dear friend Sooriya here in O’ahu. As it turned out, it was a pocket call. But nothing happens by accident, not even a butt dial. This pocket call lead to Sooriya asking us to come to O’ahu and help kickstart the Kohola Ola Peace Project back in April…which lead to us deciding to pack up our belongings and be in O’ahu for as long as we are called to be here. We both felt it was a call from Spirit to make this decision. It was nothing that had been within our periphery prior to our trip in April. It was the Universe showing us through synchronicity what the next step on our journey was going to be.

Packing up my California life wasn’t easy, quite the opposite. It was a deep letting go process on all levels. Each item that I sold, gifted away or donated also meant letting go of my old life, my old identity, even dreams I had that never came to fruition. I would go through my old journals and calendars, cherishing the memories of the good times and remembering the pain of the challenging times. There were days when it was hard to continue as so much of my old Self was dying, and I needed to honor that process, I needed to take the time to allow myself to feel what I felt, acknowledge my emotions and transform what was surfacing.

I am here now, working on the Kohola Ola Peace Project. I know that this project is a temporary one (we are looking to finish it in January 2020) and I don’t know yet what will be next. Usually I am a person who likes to plan, who needs to have a dream, a vision and execute a plan of action to achieve this dream. This is the first time in my life where I cannot see beyond the next step, where I don’t know my next dream, and all I can do is surrender, trust, and have faith that when the time is right I will be shown what is next.

They say that the phoenix rises from the ashes. There’s been a lot of ashes around me and I cannot wait for the phoenix to rise.

I am sharing my journey with you as I want to let you know that I get you. I get that you might be in a situation that no longer serves you. You might be longing to create a new life, a new reality and yet doing so means letting go of your old identity which can bring up fears and sadness amongst other emotions. Even if our life doesn’t feel right, it does feel comfortable to be in what we know. We know our identity, we know what to expect. Letting go of it, part of our Self has to die to make room for the new. Letting go, we need to step into the miraculous of the unknown.

I feel that we have been asked on a global as well as individual level to become brutally honest with ourselves, to ask what is really in alignment with our soul’s calling and to transform what no longer serves us. We are being asked to put the ego aside, to let go of illusions and step into the truth of who we are. I know that this process requires courage. I know that this process can be painful as we are mourning the old identity that we have felt comfortable with for so long. But I also know that it is one of the most rewarding actions you can take for yourself.

If you’re in this process….
Place one foot in front of the other. Take one step at a time.
Honor your emotions. Honor what you’re feeling.
Surrender. Breathe.
Pray for guidance.
Open yourself to receive.
Embrace the magic.

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